“How we treat ourselves is the #1 Rule of Engagement for how others are to treat us.” – @Spreeisms
Growing up many of us were taught the Golden Rule, it’s a religious and cultural ethic that encourages us to treat others how we would like to be treated. However, throughout my share of platonic and romantic relationships, I’ve learned that many people do not live by it. People will treat you how you treat yourself – and that should be okay with you. I was taught this early in life, as my mother would always tell my sisters and I “you have to teach people how to treat you,” however, I did not start applying this until my 20’s. Before then, I would never rock the boat for fear a person would no longer want to be my friend or having the conversation would be, too, awkward.
As I grew in confidence, I also grew tired of the B.S., and I set a higher standard for the way I allowed myself to be treated. I realized if I do speak up or stand up for myself, nobody else will either. If I do not align the value I know I have with the way I carry myself, nobody else will recognize that value. As I started to treat myself and behave in ways that made me feel beautiful, empowered, intelligent and all that good stuff, I noticed people believed those things about me and acted accordingly. I began to feel better about how people treated me because I first improved the way I treat myself.
This is just another reason why self-care plays such a huge role in our experience as humans; how we treat ourselves is the #1 Rule of Engagement for how others are to treat us. Setting these rules of engagement or boundaries are an integral part of being alignmed with your value. Having conversations with friends and loved ones about how you want to be respected and how you want to be loved is also self-care. So my challenge for the week is two-fold. First, identify one thing that you can improve to set a better example of how you want to be treated. Step two: talk to your friend about your new rule of engagement and discuss the ways you are working toward abiding by this rule as well. Check in with me @spreeisms and let me know how it goes.