D’juana is that Sis who is unafraid to tell you what you need to hear. She gives zero fucks when it comes to telling you the truth. She is the battery in your back when you need encouragement and motivation to be the best you. She adores you. She has your back.

Ask and she will advise.

Dear D’juana,

After reading She Get It From Her Mama: The Miseducation Of A Daughter, a young 26-year-old woman commented:

“This is me 100%!! I’m so glad she wrote this. Does anyone have advice on how to stop repeating the same cycle over and over. I’m 26 years old and I feel like I’ll never be able to establish a healthy self worth.”

D’juana, we need answers. Asking for Monesha — and ourselves. Help us, please.


Dear Repeat Offenders,

What no one tells us when we’re young is that love is very much like drugs. It provides all the feels and euphoria as a chemical substance. When we have it were on cloud nine, and when we don’t we hit a low that has us chasing that same high — even if what we’re chasing is pure garbage. This is how we get caught up in vicious cycles. In order to break these unhealthy habits you gotta approach that shit like you tryna kick oxy, or molly, or percoset, or x. 

Do a self-assessment.

Why are you like this? How is it important for a nigga to love you? Is it necessary to sacrifice yourself for someone who shits on your emotional well being or happiness? Write that shit out and answer it honestly, Bihh. 

Identify and eliminate triggers.

Be self aware. When you’re being dragged down fuckshit alley, think about what’s going on with you at the time. Are you bored? Read a book. Thirsty? Slam a Dew. Horny? Masturbate. Like what are you trying to pacify? Address that, not the toxic relationship.

Alter your other behaviors.

Usually, when were assing out in one area, were assing out in other areas as well. Have you been slacking off at school or work? C’mon Bihhh, don’t be putting your future and coins at risk for nobody. Are you eating right? Start. Are you blowing money? Stop. Ain’t been cleaning up? Grab a broom. Pay attention to those areas and start doing work there.

Make positive changes.

Positivity is contagious as fuck. The more you do the more you reap. Do things that absolutely make YOU great — not the relationship. You know what those things are. Get it poppin’.

Consider you.

Be selfish a bitch (in a good way of course) and look for the benefit in all things. If a nigga don’t enhance your life — fuck ’em and keep it moving.

You’ll be aiight. I promise.

~ D’juana


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